Here we are, 6 months down the line and another 6 months to go. Thank you all those who voted for me, all my non-existent campaign staff and the tea lady Doris who despite being dead kept me fed and watered with tea and biscuits through the long nights of my premiership. I hate all of you who didn’t and seeing as only 30% of voters voted for me it seems that most of you are going to be in for a rough 6 months because I have half a mind to make your lives miserable.
Doris; The Ghostly Tea Lady
of the Prime Minister of Lovely
This brings forth the first issue that Lovely seems to be facing, the election is being disputed seemingly, those disputing it are idiots and fools but still this is happening. People are disillusioned with the lack of political input that they perceive themselves to have. Change needs to happen seemingly, the ministries set up at the beginning of my last term as leader failed, lack of public participation and minister interest (sometimes due to power available elsewhere that can be abused to a greater extent) ruined it. Thus this time I will not create any ministries, they will be made from the ground up. You the people will make them as and when you want to cover the subjects important to you so you can inform me of legislation that you think needs my signature. Nothing in Lovely can happen without you lot doing it so go and do it. I will feign an interest in all you do, as Prime Minister it is my job to do so and I do so with only a little resentment for the period of my life you are stealing from me as you do so.
Similarly our legal structure seems to need a little revision in light of hasty judgements being made. Justice is blind, blind things don’t move quickly otherwise they might walk into a large spike and die or fall off a cliff or something equally bad. This will be looked into and changes shall be made. Especially in light of the spate of thefts that is occurring.
The Government will continue to pay those who contribute to the site and media outlets direct into their bank accounts. Growth of a more dynamic exciting content filled Lovely would be nice and dandy wouldn’t you agree? If you don’t agree take a running jump I’m prime minister and I say it’s nice and what I say goes.
Onwards to more worrying news, and you may be aware of plots to put into place an Emperor of Lovely, the government will resist all attempts of a coup of course and as such steps will be made to develop our military might and intelligence services so that we may force these people who want an Emperor into the jungles where we can kill them off slowly and ineffectually over a period of years in a long and drawn out struggle that will be of benefit to the spork manufacturing and FLASE dealers of our nation and help the economy. Rumours of a link between the Party Party and the would be Emperor makers will lead to a political police force being created to assassinate those who would seek to use democracy as a method of change quietly without people noticing.
An Image of the supposed rebel leader "Roundy"
who seeks to become "Grand Emperor
I assure you that everybody of import is safe at this time of political strife. The Giant man eating worms of the nuclear wasteland that surrounds King Ray’s palace have been angered to make the journey to and from the palace more peril wrought than normal and the hideously deformed mutant servants have been given shoot to kill orders on anyone who isn’t hideously deformed in the Palace.
King Ray's head of Security;
King Danny is safely kept away from anyone of Lovely overlooking us from afar where he cannot be gotten to by any nutters and the cultists who worship him as a god can be trusted to insure no harm shall ever befall our King.
I myself am being protected by trained gorillas and the security of the Haunted Prime Ministerial Mansion whilst not state of the art is pretty damned good, those dogs from hell can run pretty damned fast if you’re in the grounds and you aren’t meant to be.
The Prime Ministerial Mansion.
So there is nothing to worry about, everything is in hand theoretically, practically I need you lot to join various militant factions such as the army or the secret police and be prepared to kill and die for the vision of Lovely that has been voted in for the next 6 months.