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August 27, 2017, 23:05:11
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He has always been and will always be until his retreat from power the successor to king Rasputin I.
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By Rasputin I meant this bravely  charismatic  Mr.Cog we all know.
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by Lard_Suddenly on March 13, 2008, 03:39:00
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away... Well, it was just in the shop down the road, but when you're little, thats far far away for a chocolate bar... there were some microbes.

They were busy just munching away at the Galaxy chocolate bar they happened to find themselves in, when a near by customer sneezed all over them. All of a sudden, millions, billions, trillions of new microbes invaded their space.

The two original microbes got really pissed off with this so decided they'd lay down the law for the new microbes.

"Shit, mofo messin' with my pad gotta be runnin' cold upside down his head, know what I'm sayin'?" he said.

"Hey, holmes, I can dig it" they replied. "This brother 'aint pickin' up on you".

"I see. Hey, did I say what I want to say? Pretty J I did the same old same old", he conversed. "Hey knock yourself a post slit the grey matter of fact. While the mofo was down I take TCB and man. Hey, you know what they say you see the broad that gets that booty backin' you lay her down and SLACK EM' JACK EM'. Cold got you B, you know man? SHIT!".

"Ah I see. So no story telling goes on 'round here?" the slightly more well spoken new microbe asked.

"Shit, ja better be feelin' this for real, know what I'm sayin'." the original microbe answered.

With this, a reasonable world order was established within the Galaxy. The microbes lived in peace and harmony until one day, the slightly more well spoken microbe decided he was better than the rest and decided to write a story.

The two original microbes (who were now kings of the Galaxy) were not very happy that one of their fellow microbes was directly defying them.

"Oh man ja mofo better lay me to the bone, she jackin' me up tightly" he shouted.

"Please, I can help you speak properly. Just, read this book I've written" the well spoken microbe said, desperately trying to defend himself from having to perform sexual acts on the other microbe.

"I see what you say I read you pretty words then you touch me touch me know what I'm sayin'?" the King microbe said.

After a few hours of intense reading, the King stood up and said "this book is quite good. I like it. You don't have to touch my genitals now".

The well spoken microbe jumped for joy! He went round showing his book to everyone in the Galaxy. And they all lived happily for the next 20 minutes before someone bought the Galaxy bar and ate it. Before they knew it, they were invading the poo microbes inside the man as he was quite constipated.

Their galaxy lay in a big mountain of poo.

They were attacked repeatedly by the poo microbes for speaking quite poshly. The only way they could stop the attacks, was by promising that they would only ever write literature that explain things when they're asked to, and not just for the sake of it, ever again.
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