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  Home Fiction.   Kinglyness and Governance   Lovely; A Dramatic History News and Media Other Times Archives. Site Policy and Posting Guidelines Teaching Materials The Other Times  
by Mr Cog on August 02, 2009, 13:36:00
Greetings  Hi    Hello     Aloha   Hey there  
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night citizens of Lovely, Or whatever else it is when you read this. Welcome to my first speech as Prime minister, actually does saying welcome to a speech make any sense?

Also I'm tired enough right now to mistype things and the spell checker doesn't seem to be working in this article creator so there may be some mistakes.


First of all I'd like to thank all of you who saw that I am the right person to have received your votes. Secondly I'd also like to thank all of you who had some common sense and tried to prevent me from gaining power.  *Evil laughter*  And Thirdly I'd like to wish us all good luck in the months to come, after all anything could happen, anything from leafstorm turning up and suing us for copyright infringement, to Danny Wallace appearing and telling us that he is actually Porkpie, and then having a mental breakdown and killing us all. If either of these things were to happen, I can't promise that I'll be sticking around to see it, if there are only two things in this world I am afraid of, it's lawyers and homicidal maniacs.

My first act as Prime Minister has been to open a Twitter account for Lovely, this will mainly be a small part of Lovely for posting newsworthy items and notes and such, and it will also be acting as an experiment to see if advertising will attract new citizens to Lovely, it will be considered a success if even just one new permanent citizen is gained.
My second act has been an attempt at pumping creative juices into Lovely, so to speak, I've asked citizens to try making short stories, and at this very moment in time I have just had the idea of making it into a comptetion, I shall have to put some more thought into the details and such, there will have to be a prize as well. The story can be in just about any form of media, and the genre can be anything you want, you could even make a porn film if you wanted to King Ray, though by displaying it here you would lose any rights to royalties from future sales.
(See: http://lovelycountry.net/index.php?topic=4271)

That's all for now, there will be more to follow at an as of yet unknown future date.


That's probably spelt wrong or I might have just made that up, so instead:

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by Forever A Shorty on May 29, 2009, 07:50:17
Hi, I'm King Ray.  You may remember me from such newsletters as Newsletter #3 and Newsletter #1.

So erm, yeah.  I did warn you it was going to be a while till the next newsletter, but here it is.

As the way it goes, a lot has happened since the last newsletter and fuck that if I'm going to go through every little thing. That does kind of leave me with very little I can think of to say, and I'm lazy so won't say much.  However, I do have to mention that the end of january signalled a full year on these message boards. This doesn't sound very spectacular, but it's a great milestone for us.  In fact this is the first time we've actually made it past a full year anywhere, and we're easily on the longest streak of sticking to one site.  So give yourself a pat on the back and for all those doomsayers that kept saying we'd never last: swivel on it.  Just goes to show how sad our lives are really...

Of course, as I keep repeating myself, it's our job to keep this place trucking on (as opposed to fucking off).  It's great to see people still posting, and I open my arms and welcome back returnees with a big hug, whether you've been absent for a short or long period.  In particular I welcome any new members and hope you enjoy your long stay.  If you happen to be one of those lurking guests, why don't you sign up or log in, and come and have a chat.  Of course once you're in we'll put the razor wire up, so you can't leave, but I'm sure you'll be ok if you've had your tetanus jabs.  Possibly.

It does seem our national security has been under threat recently.  You may or may not be aware, but we have been under continuous attacks by hordes of spambots.  The spambot overlord has been sending wave after wave of troops every day, in suicide missions, hoping to break our resistance.  However, just like Richard the Lionheart, your king has personally led a valiant resistance against these fiendish heathens, and has slain them all.  Without me your arse would be balls deep, full of gay porn and viagra that doesn't work.  Give me lesbian porn and viagra that does work, and we'll let you in.  But having said that, we must be vigilant and fascist and keep this country human only.

If you're still friends with an old citizen, why not invite them to come round for a chat.  Keep posting your ideas on the boards and look out for exciting new things, which may or may not happen.  I'll be back soon, so see you in a newsletter near you (sometime in the next decade)!

Dr King Ray MSci OED
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by Forever A Shorty on September 02, 2008, 10:27:00

Hello there!

Welcome back to another installment of Ray talks bollocks.

May I wish you a very happy Lovely Day.  For those of you that don't know, Lovely Day marks the anniversary of the naming of our country. Though of course we all know the actual naming was always a fix and we never had a chance of actually naming it anything else (maybe we should complain to the ITC after all these phone-in fixes).  Whilst the name isn't exactly the greatest and people might have liked to have had different one, we cannot change the name of the country we live in (unless you emigrate of course...).  I mean "Eng" prob meant citlovemonkey, back in the old days, so maybe we should be grateful.

Anyway Lovely Day also represents nearabouts the anniversary of our existence.  It's quite amazing that we've been around (or at least some of us have) for over 3 years.  I'm sure there's many like me, that only signed up originally because they were bored.  I remember conversations after a few months, with people surprised that we were still there and now its been 3 years!  Here's hoping we're still here in another 3 years!  Its amazing to think how many people have come and gone over these past few years.  Most however have made their mark in their own way though, whether they left recently or back in the old days of the beeb.  I can still remember so many obscure names, which have long since gone, but they're all part of the history of this place.  Shame the ungrateful gits left us though...

In other news, we've just had our most recent bi-yearly election.  The results were intriguing as the ever-popular Zsu-Zsu scraped a win by a narrow margin.  However the election was a complete scam and was surely fixed.  So nothing new there then and so I officially declare Zsu our new Prime Minister and hope she has a successful term in office.  Thanks go to the departing PM Schaferlord, after a whole year in the hot seat.  Well done, simply for the fact that we're actually still here and not in some blackened charred remains of Lovely, which might have been predicted before.

As you may well be aware some of my attempts to spark some life into the forum fell arse over tit.  Indeed fight club was more like knitting club, as it didn't actually kick off at all, in any sense of the word.  Also recently, my secret plan to draw some missing citizens back into the fray failed quite spectacularly.  Out of the many people I tried to get back, only two posted....and then promptly disappeared again.  Just because I'm complete turd at getting new ideas off the ground doesn't mean you have to be!  Keep it all coming, we need fresh ideas and fresh faces to maintain the place.  We're certainly long overdue another friendly invasion of some unsuspecting message board, so keep your eyes peeled.

That's it for now folks.  Expect another long overdue newsletter in the very distant future.

The King (#2)
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by Forever A Shorty on May 26, 2008, 03:00:00
Hello there, this is your King (if you don't class me as King, what the fuck are you reading this for?), coming back for some more roundups and complete dribble. Apologies, its been a while since the last one, but this one's finally here.

Some of you know this already, but i shall be heading off to the (*street fighter II voice*) US of A, for 10 days, so most likely wont be on the internet. Queen Lars shall be reigning in my absence. Though given what Jackassy said about Pittsburgh, I probably won't be returning at all (well at least not without being riddled with bullet holes). As my sole heir, Reb shall (if she turns up) be next in line to the throne. Just please leave a national holiday, mourning my demise (and stupidity for going to America). Which leads me to to my next bit. Unfortunately, as most of you are aware, I'm trying desperately to finish my course. Due to the fact that starting it, pretty much coincided with the start of lovely, I've wasted the last 3 years on the internet. So now the hard graft really must start, so I shall be online a lot less from now on. It's got to the stage where I've even been toying with the idea of banning myself completely during the day. I shall of course still be on during nights, but feel free to tell me to piss off, if I'm on for too long during the day. It hurts to not be on, even if its just me clicking the refresh page button waiting for someone to come online, but needs must.

Its really great to see many old faces return this past month or two. Whether you've been away for a few months or even years, we welcome you back with open arms and then slap you for your absence. We also welcome any newbies that have joined. It seems that a lot of newbies tend to sign up but not post. Do not be afraid, we dont bite! Or at least not all of us and those that do, not all of them have rabies. Apologies to all those that I've scared off with my "waves at" threads, but i mean no harm, honest! We all hope you can stay and get into the addiction of posting and in the words of Arnie - "Stick Around".

In other news, the first Lovely Fight Club starts soon. Basically the idea is to pit two ctizens against each other in a battle of wits. So as you can imagine points scored in this competition will be quite low....Since XS has been absent, we're looking for a substitute fighter, so please get on the case should he not turn up. The rules for engagement of battle is posted on the thread and the draw is given below. Keep an eye out for a fight soon!

  • sub v XS/replacement
  • matt v jack
  • milky v steka
  • giddsey v status


  • matt or jack v giddsey or status
  • sub or XS/replacement v milky or steka

As I've said many a times, its up to us to keep this place going and keep things fresh. Keep coming up with fresh projects and the like. We haven't really had many new banners as well as articles recently, so please keep them coming in as well.

I should really finish off with a King's thanks to those that have done us proud since my last newsletter, But quite frankly you've all been a bit rubbish, so I'm not going to bother. If you think someone deserves their name in lights (without the lights) in my next newsletter, then please nominate them by pming me and explaining the reasons why.

Until next time (should I survive that is).

The King (#2)
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by Forever A Shorty on March 03, 2008, 13:10:03
Ok the title is a bit misleading as it suggests that there will be more than one.  Things are really busy for me and well I'm rubbish at writing stuff so it takes me more effort than others, but at least this one is finally done and dusted.  Well everyone else has kind of stolen my thunder anyway as in what I was going to write here, so my newsletter is kind of pointless, but nevermind.

I just wanted to welcome you all to Citizensrequired.net.  Ok its not quite that new, especially given our board move rate, but hey.  A huge thanks to Schaf for making this all possible.  You're probably all thinking, "oh no here we go again, not another forum to sign up to".  Well technically you're right but scratch underneath the surface and have a look around and you'll admit your mistake.  This place is the absolute canine's scrotum.  In one complete masterstroke the shop and a proper economy has got people hooked.  If you haven't checked out the shop already then what are you waiting for!  Never has owning a rock or a gnome been so cool.  Along with the stocks and the lovely lottery people have been gambling their way to a better fortune.  Or thieved their way to wealth... shame on you.

Theres plenty of other stuff along with the main forum.  Check out the gallery section to look at pics of meets and various stuff and create your own banner (you know you want to).  So once again thanks to Schaf for making it all happen.  We did have a go at him for being a bit rubbish as prime minister but he's really come up trumps here.  Shame the rest of it was useless.  Well done also to Schaf and his government for being the first to be elected for a second term.  There were rumblings going on after the results were published but hopefully that's over with and we can look forward to another pointless 6 months.

Please be understanding with Schaf has he gets through the teething problems and tries to add more content.  He's already done a lot and I've heard he's actually acquired a life as well from somewhere (although I myself don't believe that).  If you can offer any help with the running of things then feel free to volunteer.

As you can imagine its always been difficult with so few of us left.  A couple of us have gone on a recruitment drive and we hope some of you will too!  We welcome everyone thats joined us either as part of our recruitment or as someone returning from an absence (where have you been!?).  In particular I welcome all those crazy people from the Flat Earth Society who have made it across.  Not all of us share your views on the shape of this planet but we're glad to have you (well possibly).

Finally I've been toying with the idea for a while about bringing the honours system back in,  even before some of you had mentioned it as well, but I've decided to leave it for now.  Given that theres so few of us and that we're all working in our own little way to keep this thing going, it's hard for me to just honour the odd people here and there.  That and the fact that all the names for the honours i could think off were complete wank.  Instead I've decided to just give a shout out to a few people that deserve their name in lights for recent stuff they have done.  No shiny awards for you unfortunately, but a King's thanks should be good enough.

  • Schaferlord - for creating this place
  • JackASCII - for his crazy propanography
  • Dead kangaroo- for the awesome rendering of the map of lovely
  • Bovinejumpuit - for being creator of the most awesome thing ever, the megasuperultragnome

Those are just a select few that are worth mentioning, but I love you all for what you've been doing.  Apart from you for doing THAT.  If you think someone should have their name up in lights let me know for my next newsletter (in a while...) and I'll just stick their name in the newsletter as i can't afford the bulbs or even candles.

There's probably other stuff I should say, but well I can't be bothered.  Until next time.  Cheerio.

The King (#2)

ps Write for the Other Times.  Or face imprisonment.
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