Hi, I'm King Ray. You may remember me from such newsletters as Newsletter #3 and Newsletter #1.
So erm, yeah. I did warn you it was going to be a while till the next newsletter, but here it is.
As the way it goes, a lot has happened since the last newsletter and fuck that if I'm going to go through every little thing. That does kind of leave me with very little I can think of to say, and I'm lazy so won't say much. However, I do have to mention that the end of january signalled a full year on these message boards. This doesn't sound very spectacular, but it's a great milestone for us. In fact this is the first time we've actually made it past a full year anywhere, and we're easily on the longest streak of sticking to one site. So give yourself a pat on the back and for all those doomsayers that kept saying we'd never last: swivel on it. Just goes to show how sad our lives are really...
Of course, as I keep repeating myself, it's our job to keep this place trucking on (as opposed to fucking off). It's great to see people still posting, and I open my arms and welcome back returnees with a big hug, whether you've been absent for a short or long period. In particular I welcome any new members and hope you enjoy your long stay. If you happen to be one of those lurking guests, why don't you sign up or log in, and come and have a chat. Of course once you're in we'll put the razor wire up, so you can't leave, but I'm sure you'll be ok if you've had your tetanus jabs. Possibly.
It does seem our national security has been under threat recently. You may or may not be aware, but we have been under continuous attacks by hordes of spambots. The spambot overlord has been sending wave after wave of troops every day, in suicide missions, hoping to break our resistance. However, just like Richard the Lionheart, your king has personally led a valiant resistance against these fiendish heathens, and has slain them all. Without me your arse would be balls deep, full of gay porn and viagra that doesn't work. Give me lesbian porn and viagra that does work, and we'll let you in. But having said that, we must be vigilant and fascist and keep this country human only.
If you're still friends with an old citizen, why not invite them to come round for a chat. Keep posting your ideas on the boards and look out for exciting new things, which may or may not happen. I'll be back soon, so see you in a newsletter near you (sometime in the next decade)!
Dr King Ray MSci OED