Home   Forum   Help Media Centre Search Calendar Shop Gallery Login Register   *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
October 23, 2017, 05:24:30

Login with username, password and session length
Recent
by
[October 20, 2017, 03:12:19]

by
[September 24, 2017, 19:07:49]

[September 02, 2017, 05:11:47]

[July 07, 2017, 13:30:03]

[July 07, 2017, 13:24:22]
Twitter
Permissions

Last 10 Shouts:
August 27, 2017, 23:05:11
Cya! I'm out!
August 27, 2017, 23:04:56
I officially never existed and will never exist in lovely's history again
August 27, 2017, 23:04:26
He has always been and will always be until his retreat from power the successor to king Rasputin I.
August 27, 2017, 23:03:35
By Rasputin I meant this bravely  charismatic  Mr.Cog we all know.
August 27, 2017, 23:01:48
I thereby give all absolute powers to king Rasputin I and declare my non existence in lovely's history.
August 27, 2017, 23:01:48
I thereby give all absolute powers to king Rasputin I and declare my non existence in lovely's history.
August 27, 2017, 23:00:59
I surrender and Abdicate from my position as an unrecognized and imposter king to the throne.
July 30, 2017, 18:36:43
DEFINITIVE NEW NAME CITIZENS!!!!
THE IMPERIAL KINGDOM OF THE FREE LOVELY LOVELAND!!! SHORTENED AS LOVELYLAND!!!
July 20, 2017, 18:51:10
(Freelove just didn't feel right.)
July 20, 2017, 18:50:37
(yeah new name...)
Members
Total Members: 568
Latest: gaga
Stats
Total Posts: 244592
Total Topics: 5053
Online Today: 16
Online Ever: 137
(July 20, 2014, 20:19:05)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 15
Total: 15
Pages: [1] 2
  Print  
Author Topic: I may be getting published  (Read 1549 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Sub in a Hat
Wrapped in Foil
National Treasure
*****

Karma: 53
Offline Offline

Posts: 1334



View Profile
« on: October 30, 2008, 19:38:03 »

by Agenda magazine rather soon; that is to say, they might print a collection of poems by yours truly.  Smiley

On the subject of which, here's a poem I wrote yesterday. Feel free to mock and judge it.

We went by
   the storm front,
      the wretched shelter
that calls itself not
   Home, but some poor man's
      refuge. And in the gathering
valley of the clouds
   waited not for an order
      or for the stillness
that comes only in the second
   before the pressure
      suddenly rises.
Rather sat mid flattened
   frosty blades
      and admired the sky-surf.
Not all that is white is pure;
   a man must discern
      what will last and
what will be lost to him.
   Didn't we watch the clouds?
      And did you smile?
The airy fields were white,
   a cloudy crystal
      and the sun was obscured
by a foreboding landscape
   and still the cool air plays
      across your skin and seems
to freeze your actions
   and you are unsettled
      and search for warmth
that you may come
   to rest and be not
      unsettled.
And does not the warmth
   seem to mingle
      with the cool air on your arms?
I thought the outcrop
   seemed to whirl
      and all about it was misty-grey.


The sun came out
   one August day
      and so inspired
the townsmen to erect
   a great pavillion under which
      the squires and yeomen sat
and drank cider
   and all about the auction-
      fayre that sunny noon
were children and lambs
   for the sale. You did not know
      for you were with me.
But I heard first-hand
   Of how the sweating
      merchants came to town
and bought the whole flock
   to the dismay of
      the country-folk
who would not eat
   and would there-onwards
      not give harvest thanks
for there were no lambs
   the following year
      but you didn't know.
I never spoke of how
   you appeared that
      summer day.
Suffice to say words
   had no meaning compared
      with the way the sunlight sublimated
the dust on your arms
   so close to white
      barely exposed the whole of summer.
Were not those English fields
   our own?
      Did we not claim them?
And were they not
   marked by your presence?
      Did you transform them
as you transform
   the corruptible materials that adorn
      you into a more noble nature?
Or did they change you
   somewhat? You who knew not
      the poetry of dust,
the poetry of quiet mourning
   that is subdued
      by summer dirt
that it may prove to be
   some strange sacrament
      and may still make me clean.
Could I sacrifice
   those precious hours
      that you may be more aware
of the slaughter of innocents
   that you may know the horror
      in seeing a crystal stained?
I could not be so selfish.



I'd rather live this
   morbid life made worse
      by never knowing you
yet have you
   born safe into
      the ministry of Christ.
I'd rather save you
   from this world
      and let you not be
corrupted than see you
   fall as you must
      the change made worse
for knowing your beauty.
   Shallow words indeed
      to say I'd die.
For you I'd commit
   my Soul to Hell
      and a greater suffering
than I have known for you
    are my religion
      your purity is my prayerbook.
You are the Saint
   who knows not congregation
      who will be my test
and who is tested.
   There is no white
      so pure
that it be not polluted
   there is no love so great
      that could be sacrificed.
Logged

Sort of Ernest Hemingway meets Boris Johnson.

"You should have asked for twelve inches of his finest sub of the day at the time, no point regretting not having some sublove now." Lady Reblet.

</img>

The superfluous image tag is staying. It is staying because I like it.
Anubis
janitorial staff
National Treasure
*****

Karma: 195
Offline Offline

Posts: 13316


View Profile WWW
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2008, 19:47:19 »

Awesome news  clap
Logged
He loves the cock...
Manager
National Treasure
*****

Karma: 740
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 28975


View Profile
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2008, 00:52:25 »

Well done Sub.

You're making me feel anxious.
Logged

Sub in a Hat
Wrapped in Foil
National Treasure
*****

Karma: 53
Offline Offline

Posts: 1334



View Profile
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2008, 02:38:08 »

Thanks you two.

Why anxious Schaf?
Logged

Sort of Ernest Hemingway meets Boris Johnson.

"You should have asked for twelve inches of his finest sub of the day at the time, no point regretting not having some sublove now." Lady Reblet.

</img>

The superfluous image tag is staying. It is staying because I like it.
Neo
Paranoid Android
Patriot
***

Karma: -15
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 277



View Profile
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2008, 04:16:17 »

That's great, and you know, I'm not at all jealous  angry
Logged

Zsu-Zsu
Frigging myself silly over Bo
Little Princess
National Treasure
***

Karma: 385
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 9848



View Profile
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2008, 05:48:44 »

Congratulations Sub Smiley
Logged

I know I'm not perfect,
But I'm so damn close it scares me
Matt
National Treasure
*****

Karma: 9
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 2207


View Profile WWW
« Reply #6 on: October 31, 2008, 06:29:37 »

So I notice no one has commented on the poem.
It's "Lovely".

What's it mean?!

I always had to ask that in school until it was explained, unless of course it was something simple like. "I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree" by Kilmer, or The Donkey by Chesterton.
Logged

Why is there something instead of nothing?
Sub in a Hat
Wrapped in Foil
National Treasure
*****

Karma: 53
Offline Offline

Posts: 1334



View Profile
« Reply #7 on: October 31, 2008, 06:51:27 »

Thanks Neo, and Zsu can have a embarassed kiss smiley:  kiss

Matt, it's rather hard for me to explain my stuff. I often think that half the stuff that people read into poems was not conciously put in there by the poet.

However, I can say that this one is largely a lament for the old rural idyll. The sweaty merchants buying the flock represent the arrival of capitalism and mechanisation in the country. This is all mixed in with some of my most powerful memories and experiences of living in the English countryside. The wording and symbolism all comes to me in a flash so a lot of it really isn't the result of conscious deliberation. I'm being very pretentious aren't I. If you liked that one, I'll paste a couple more in when I'm on the other computer.
Logged

Sort of Ernest Hemingway meets Boris Johnson.

"You should have asked for twelve inches of his finest sub of the day at the time, no point regretting not having some sublove now." Lady Reblet.

</img>

The superfluous image tag is staying. It is staying because I like it.
Mr Cog
Insane Dictator
janitorial staff
National Treasure
*****

Karma: 44
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 16812



View Profile
« Reply #8 on: October 31, 2008, 07:39:03 »

thats great

better than anything I could write at least, I'm shit at poetries
Logged

Your friendly neighbourhood lunatic
Tom Dates
National Treasure
*****

Karma: -127
Offline Offline

Posts: 7340


Flat Earth Proponent


View Profile
« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2008, 12:36:45 »

So I notice no one has commented on the poem.
Not read it, some folk aren't wired to be able to read poems. (Same goes for comics) It's a rare frame of mind I'm in when it's not just word. word. word. word. word. word. word. word... Oh whoops, I just read every single word of that poem but forgot to read the poem.

But good on ya Sub!

Quote
I often think that half the stuff that people read into poems was not conciously put in there by the poet.
Half? I'd hazard a lot more than that! Song lyrics for example...you only have to go on something like songmeanings.net to see everyone's so sure songs are about all these different things. Often it's a happy surprise when you find something you've written is about more than you thought it was going to be.
Logged

Matt
National Treasure
*****

Karma: 9
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 2207


View Profile WWW
« Reply #10 on: October 31, 2008, 13:05:47 »

Quote
Often it's a happy surprise when you find something you've written is about more than you thought it was going to be.
It is the reason that IF or when I do art, I tend to do abstract then no one can tell me I did it wrong, and I alway get pleasure getting their interpretation. (Besides that I have never mastered perspective.)


Quote
it's rather hard for me to explain my stuff. I often think that half the stuff that people read into poems was not conciously put in there by the poet.

However, I can say that this one is largely a lament for the old rural idyll. The sweaty merchants buying the flock represent the arrival of capitalism and mechanisation in the country. This is all mixed in with some of my most powerful memories and experiences of living in the English countryside. The wording and symbolism all comes to me in a flash so a lot of it really isn't the result of conscious deliberation. I'm being very pretentious aren't I. If you liked that one, I'll paste a couple more in when I'm on the other computer.

I thought part of it might be that I was not familiar with the allusions, (the Old English countryside for instance), and the very religious symbolism would receive different interpretation depending on where one imagined you were coming from or are at. (The old problem as mentioned about others reading into the works, (especially of poets long gone) the mind of the one reading it rather than of the writer.
Logged

Why is there something instead of nothing?
Sub in a Hat
Wrapped in Foil
National Treasure
*****

Karma: 53
Offline Offline

Posts: 1334



View Profile
« Reply #11 on: November 01, 2008, 11:10:35 »

Here's an older one.

Wear and tear and tire my mind
All through the night and into the light
I took a picture of some doves
But I couldn’t catch their flight
Life without motion is sterile
Life without dynamism is death

This is nothing; I am nothing
I died long ago and life is over
I live only when I am lost in the moment
When I write I am dead and I cannot be reborn until it’s all released
Yes I will be free, I will be
Clothe me in light and take away everything
Let there be no time
I want to see it all
Freedom, cut me loose

I write like the angel of death in the morning
Urizen’s set-square is straight and it measures only the moment
But I live in a stream of existence
Reality is pouring between my fingers
Like atoms of water

Don’t analyse, don’t think
Sleep, sleep; fall asleep and only dream in light
Yes there is nothing now

Ripples, ripples, water
The light on the waves as it bounces and refracts
And takes an instant to reach my eye
I see the clear trout-brown
Knife-grey waters
Here a cloud, here a ripple
Yes a fish, a fish breaks the surface
And struggles for air
Here the slipping, sleeping sunset
And here the seeping, creeping dawn
Logged

Sort of Ernest Hemingway meets Boris Johnson.

"You should have asked for twelve inches of his finest sub of the day at the time, no point regretting not having some sublove now." Lady Reblet.

</img>

The superfluous image tag is staying. It is staying because I like it.
Mr Cog
Insane Dictator
janitorial staff
National Treasure
*****

Karma: 44
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 16812



View Profile
« Reply #12 on: November 01, 2008, 11:20:19 »

I've always like poems with lots of enjambment that dont make much sense, they just seem to agree with my mind more
Logged

Your friendly neighbourhood lunatic
Tom Dates
National Treasure
*****

Karma: -127
Offline Offline

Posts: 7340


Flat Earth Proponent


View Profile
« Reply #13 on: November 01, 2008, 11:24:29 »

Life without motion is sterile
Life without dynamism is death
upsmiley
Logged

Sub in a Hat
Wrapped in Foil
National Treasure
*****

Karma: 53
Offline Offline

Posts: 1334



View Profile
« Reply #14 on: November 01, 2008, 11:54:26 »

I've always like poems with lots of enjambment that dont make much sense, they just seem to agree with my mind more

I like'em like that too, as long as they're good as well. I'm not a big fan of people like Seamus Heaney and Carol Ann Duffy, they're too mundane and and simplistic.

However, Ezra Pound, TS Eliot and William Carlos Williams are brilliant.
Logged

Sort of Ernest Hemingway meets Boris Johnson.

"You should have asked for twelve inches of his finest sub of the day at the time, no point regretting not having some sublove now." Lady Reblet.

</img>

The superfluous image tag is staying. It is staying because I like it.
Mr Cog
Insane Dictator
janitorial staff
National Treasure
*****

Karma: 44
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 16812



View Profile
« Reply #15 on: November 01, 2008, 12:12:54 »

I has found my old shitty poetry:

again you stray
away
from the point
towards the meaning
its never this, its always that
you wouldnt enjoy, you said, proving you're right
and I'm wrong
well I won't enjoy
scraping your face
from my boot. Just another step towards
towards...



I reached the end and I spoke the question:
what have I done?
to deserve this?
Go back, and think of your life, and tomorrow tell me of one thing you have done . Came the answer.
I thought of my life, for a day and a night, of all my deeds
and misdeeds
I spoke to him once more:
I have thought and thought and I know that in all my life I have done nothing.
You have done nothing, that is the reason. Came the answer.
Logged

Your friendly neighbourhood lunatic
Sub in a Hat
Wrapped in Foil
National Treasure
*****

Karma: 53
Offline Offline

Posts: 1334



View Profile
« Reply #16 on: November 01, 2008, 12:16:08 »

That's great Cog; it reads really smoothly.
Logged

Sort of Ernest Hemingway meets Boris Johnson.

"You should have asked for twelve inches of his finest sub of the day at the time, no point regretting not having some sublove now." Lady Reblet.

</img>

The superfluous image tag is staying. It is staying because I like it.
Mr Cog
Insane Dictator
janitorial staff
National Treasure
*****

Karma: 44
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 16812



View Profile
« Reply #17 on: November 01, 2008, 12:47:57 »

actually that was 2 separate poems, but your right, it does work as one, I should try and write a whole set
Logged

Your friendly neighbourhood lunatic
Sub in a Hat
Wrapped in Foil
National Treasure
*****

Karma: 53
Offline Offline

Posts: 1334



View Profile
« Reply #18 on: November 01, 2008, 12:50:53 »

Yeah, it feels like the same poem; just with two disparate stances on the same mindset.
Logged

Sort of Ernest Hemingway meets Boris Johnson.

"You should have asked for twelve inches of his finest sub of the day at the time, no point regretting not having some sublove now." Lady Reblet.

</img>

The superfluous image tag is staying. It is staying because I like it.
He loves the cock...
Manager
National Treasure
*****

Karma: 740
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 28975


View Profile
« Reply #19 on: November 01, 2008, 14:38:26 »

Thanks you two.

Why anxious Schaf?

Two weeks I should hear news if a publisher is going to go forward with a submission I sent.
Logged

Pages: [1] 2
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.9 | SMF © 2006-2009, Simple Machines LLC
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.732 seconds with 28 queries.