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Author Topic: Ever drifted apart from close friends / ditched friends?  (Read 2578 times)
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Lard_Suddenly
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« on: June 22, 2011, 07:00:53 »

As the thread title says... have you ever had a good mate that for whatever reason you've regretfully lost contact with..? Either purposefully cut off contact from, or otherwise?

In primary school, there were 3 of us that used to be best mates. Stu, Rob and me.  smug Conveniently, Rob lived the other side of the road to me (I lived at number 4, he at number 9) and Stu lived around the corner. We could all see each others houses from our own house. We were best mates all through primary school.

When we had to choose which secondary school to go to, Stu went to the one down the road, me and Rob went to one a bit further away. Sad But we still hung out together after school and that until one day Stu and Rob had a falling out  yikes I didn't know what had happened, still don't... but it was nice to be the guy they were fighting over for friendship  shades laugh smug

Anyway.. it turned out Rob was a bit of a nob and his mates at school were also nobs. I hung out with Stu a lot more and stopped hanging out with Rob completely by the end of secondary school.

I introduced Stu to a few other friends of mine from school.. Si, Andy (who we formed a band with  shades ), and later on Liam (who's sister Stu would eventually get into a long term relationship with  ohmy ).

About the same time as we formed the band, I started to get serious with Alisa... Basically, because I would spend time with her away from Andy and Stu, I ended up missing out on their injokes and it just got a bit awkward. We just kind of drifted apart. I figured if they weren't going to include me in stuff, I wouldn't go out of my way to include them in stuff.

I would still speak to Stu when we saw each other at the rock club, or at gigs etc, but the time I knew our friendship had drifted apart was when I saw him walk past our house on his way to Andy's and I wasn't invited, even though they knew I would be up for something and was free  Cry  Picture the Forever Alone guy, looking out his front window...



I moved away, as you know, and don't even have his number anymore. Didn't even invite the guy to my wedding, which I sort of feel bad about, but he hadn't exactly tried to get in touch with me in that time either. I still check facebook occasionally in the hope that one day he will cave in and get an account and we can get back in touch... bit of a shame for a friendship to fizzle out like that. My brother, who still lives locally, bumped into him last year and Stu said to him that it was weird how I just stopped talking to him completely!   ohmy angry That's only a half truth.

He was one of the funniest people I ever knew, though. He was brilliant at everything.. drawing, computer games, playing instruments, football, but he just couldn't be arsed to do anything. Part of what made him so funny  laugh He wasn't especially good looking, but he would have women clambering to get to him in clubs. You could just hand him a guitar and say "we need a tune" and he'd just half heartedly thrash the guitar and you'd be left in awe. He ended up dropping out of sixth form and working at Npower in the call centre. Last I heard, he was still there, doing the same job... this was about 9 years ago when he started there  unsure I'm not one to slag a guy off for doing a job or being a bit unambitious.. but the guy could've done most anything if he put his mind to it. He never bothered with his school work, was predicted to fail his English GCSE, ended up writing about Green Day in his exam and got an A, the jammy bastard.

I kinda miss knowing him, but I get the impression that our close friendship had run its course and we're destined to just occasionally get in touch with each other every 10 or 15 years or so and have nothing in common anymore..

Summary: Friends with a guy in primary school, best friends whilst at secondary school (despite going to different schools) and for a while after. There was no big fight, no exchange of words, money or women. We just generally lost contact and it saddens me Sad

Anyone got any similar tales of woe or are you all super popular and not sad about any friendships you've broken off/lost..?
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« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2011, 07:08:54 »

kiss and make up/out
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« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2011, 07:12:28 »

don't have his contact details any more, bruvvv
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« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2011, 07:14:50 »

either in jail or probably not worth talking to if he's not net-stalkable
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« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2011, 07:15:35 »

Don't think he's in jail.

Must be the latter Sad
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« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2011, 07:26:13 »

No, I have never been one for fostering close friendships or believing that friendships required constant contact and communication.
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« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2011, 07:27:57 »

So a friend you had in, say, nursery, but haven't spoke to since, is someone you would consider a friend still?

Or do you consider nobody a friend?

 chinscratch
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« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2011, 07:31:59 »

I don't remember anyone from nursery.

Probably more likely I don't have any friends, now I think of it everyone is just an aquaintance I knew on friendly terms.
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« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2011, 07:33:22 »

what about that checkout girl?
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« Reply #9 on: June 22, 2011, 07:33:38 »

checkout girl?

...go on...
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« Reply #10 on: June 22, 2011, 07:34:39 »

what about that checkout girl?

I am lost.
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« Reply #11 on: June 22, 2011, 07:36:48 »

I dunno dunno  I'm sure you are "friendly" with at least one checkout girl.  nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Or are you so cold hearted you just use them
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« Reply #12 on: June 22, 2011, 07:38:41 »

the plot thickens with juicy schaf spunk
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« Reply #13 on: June 22, 2011, 07:44:04 »

I dunno dunno  I'm sure you are "friendly" with at least one checkout girl.  nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Or are you so cold hearted you just use them

I'm friendly to lots of people, heck I even use the term "friend" to describe folk most of the time because society cannot handle the truth that you are all just acquaintances to me and I care not if you live or die.

When I went to college most of my secondary school friends stayed at the secondary school, then I went to aberystwyth long story short I met someone from school in the summer after my first year at uni and apparently people thought I must have died. Not that they saw me at all when I went to school, other than the few I played warhammer with I didn't do anything outside of school with anyone.
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« Reply #14 on: June 22, 2011, 07:49:21 »

One day, I will learn that you've been dressing up as some kind of slayer and burying people in your parents garden, and it will not surprise me much.
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« Reply #15 on: June 22, 2011, 07:52:17 »

sociopath is probably the correct word
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« Reply #16 on: June 22, 2011, 07:53:39 »

sociopath is probably the correct word

I don't think I can call my acquaintances sociopaths, that is even more likely to be misunderstood.
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« Reply #17 on: June 22, 2011, 07:53:42 »

You can't bury people in your parents sociopath. That makes no sense. You're thinking of patio path.
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« Reply #18 on: June 22, 2011, 07:56:29 »

No, he buries anyone in his path that tries to be social
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« Reply #19 on: June 22, 2011, 09:48:37 »

I've drifted away from pretty much all my high school chums. We all went our separate ways for uni, spreading out all over the place and have pretty much stayed in the towns we went to uni far apart from each other.

Still have contact now and again with some of them, not as much as I'd like with my best friends.

I invited some of them to my wedding and they came  dance

But I think that was the last I saw of them over two years ago now  unsure
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